The title of this piece may seem a bit
strong-toned but very necessary in describing the point I am trying to
pass across. As always, please keep an open mind till I make my point.
There
is nothing wrong with being single. In order to capture and keep the
heart of your dream bae, it is important to work on yourself till you
become a near-perfect partner. That will make the way for a long lasting
union. If you search within yourself and know that your attitude cannot
make someone happy, the saintly thing to do is to keep things light
till you can make the necessary changes on your own. continue after the cut...
With
the steady increasing rate of divorce and separation, there are five
recurrent factors that keep the statistics on a steady rise and I will
mention them in order of severity. These factors, in moderation can be
salvaged but when people are hardwired with them, it is hard to make a
successful relationship that isn’t filled with tears and unnecessary
sacrifices.
In my humble opinion, here are the five types of people that are better off single:
The Contemptuous People
Contempt is the number one killer of relationships! Contempt is the beautiful art of belittling your partner in order to appear superior. Normal conversations are usually delivered with subtle insults, sarcasms, mockery or hostile humor. Body language, such as eyes-rolling or disgusted look, and tone of voice give the clearest clue. Contempt may be hard to define but l bet you know it when you feel it. “You look disgusting, please change that outfit” “You should be smart enough to turn off the lights before you leave the house”
Contempt is the number one killer of relationships! Contempt is the beautiful art of belittling your partner in order to appear superior. Normal conversations are usually delivered with subtle insults, sarcasms, mockery or hostile humor. Body language, such as eyes-rolling or disgusted look, and tone of voice give the clearest clue. Contempt may be hard to define but l bet you know it when you feel it. “You look disgusting, please change that outfit” “You should be smart enough to turn off the lights before you leave the house”
The Defensive People
A.K.A the Proud. They are never wrong or remotely curious about their part in problems! They become defensive when challenged. They are quick to apologize just to end an argument but still feel they are right. They never see the seriousness of their partners’ complaints and are quick to dismiss them. Always ready to justify, explain, or rationalize their behaviors.
A.K.A the Proud. They are never wrong or remotely curious about their part in problems! They become defensive when challenged. They are quick to apologize just to end an argument but still feel they are right. They never see the seriousness of their partners’ complaints and are quick to dismiss them. Always ready to justify, explain, or rationalize their behaviors.
The Criticizers
Criticism can be tolerated but in excess can be very demoralizing. Criticism is also very easy to spot and yet another devastating reason for the guilty party to remain single. Criticizers point out the faults of someone or something in a disapproving way by attacking the partner’s character and who they are. They are very quick to pass harsh judgments and easy to find faults in any little mistake. These people slowly rob their victims of self-confidence and peace of mind.
Criticism can be tolerated but in excess can be very demoralizing. Criticism is also very easy to spot and yet another devastating reason for the guilty party to remain single. Criticizers point out the faults of someone or something in a disapproving way by attacking the partner’s character and who they are. They are very quick to pass harsh judgments and easy to find faults in any little mistake. These people slowly rob their victims of self-confidence and peace of mind.
The Stonewallers
These people are royalty when it comes to silent treatments. They literally pause a relationship when they are upset and restart it when they come out of their shells without offering constructive insight for their behaviors. They refuse to relate or contribute when they feel hurt. Much like what you’d get whenever you talk to a wall of stone.
These people are royalty when it comes to silent treatments. They literally pause a relationship when they are upset and restart it when they come out of their shells without offering constructive insight for their behaviors. They refuse to relate or contribute when they feel hurt. Much like what you’d get whenever you talk to a wall of stone.
The Morally Bankrupt
The moral compass of these people have been broken, sold or replaced by ice. The bottom line is, they feel nothing when they do or say hurtful things. The perpetual cheaters fall in this category. They do not see anything bad in having multiple sexual partners. The perpetual liars, physical and emotional abusers also fall into this category. If you are not in a relationship for love, you have no problem with these type of people. They are actually quite nice. Whenever they meet/marry their kind, the bond is usually unbreakable.
The moral compass of these people have been broken, sold or replaced by ice. The bottom line is, they feel nothing when they do or say hurtful things. The perpetual cheaters fall in this category. They do not see anything bad in having multiple sexual partners. The perpetual liars, physical and emotional abusers also fall into this category. If you are not in a relationship for love, you have no problem with these type of people. They are actually quite nice. Whenever they meet/marry their kind, the bond is usually unbreakable.
At
some point in life, everyone exhibits a bit of these traits in little
doses and should not be crucified for them. When these traits become
defining characteristics, it is then better to introspect and
re-evaluate while unattached so as not to increase the number of people
who think poorly of us.
Goodluck!
About Chiugo Akaolisa
Chiugo Veronica Akaolisa is a B.Sc. graduate from the University of
Alberta, Canada. She is a God-lover and a recluse. Her every spare time
is spent writing and developing her business. She is an
entrepreneur/business woman. Her true passion is Poetry and Relationship
Tips. She is Anti-Divorce!
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